Palate Cleanser Sunday | David Kessler: How to find meaning after loss

Zoom Link for The Sunday Liturgy | https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89752784023

The Call to Worship

Lighting of the Christ Candle

The Invitation to Pause & Become Present

Our Vision

FōS is a community creating space for everyone to find hope, beauty, and possibility in the story of Jesus by reimagining faith together. 

  • We are a community practicing Big Tent Christianity.

  • We include because we have been included.

  • We love because we have been loved.

  • We invite because we have been invited.

  • We welcome diversity through open tables and open conversations.

  • We create space for God's generous guest list to be present and to participate fully.

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father in heaven, let Your name remain holy.
Bring about Your kingdom.
Manifest Your will here on earth, as it is manifest in heaven.
Give us each day that day’s bread—no more, no less—
And forgive us our debts as we forgive those who owe us something.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Brave Space by Micky Scott Bey Jones

Together we will create brave space
Because there is no such thing as a “safe space”
We exist in the real world
We all carry scars and we have all caused wounds.
In this space
We seek to turn down the volume of the outside world,
We amplify voices that fight to be heard elsewhere,
We call each other to more truth and love
We have the right to start somewhere and continue to grow.
We have the responsibility to examine what we think we know.
We will not be perfect.
This space will not be perfect.
It will not always be what we wish it to be
But
It will be our brave space together,
And, we will work on it side by side.

The Video

David Kessler: How to find meaning after loss

You may be familiar with the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. After decades of research and his own experience with tragic loss, grief expert David Kessler ventured beyond that classic framework and sought a sixth, crucial stage: meaning. He shares practical wisdom and strategies for anyone seeking to honor a loved one's memory and move through life in light of personal loss,

Dr. David Kessler’s 7 Statements of Finding Meaning

  1. Meaning is relative and personal

  2. Meaning takes time

  3. Meaning doesn't require understanding

  4. Even when you do find meaning, you won't feel it was worth the cost

  5. Your loss is not a test, a lesson, something to handle, a gift, or a blessing

  6. Only you can find your meaning

  7. Meaningful connections can replace those painful memories in time

The Eucharist Litany (portions of this litany were written by Naomi Lippett)

Reader: This is Christ's table. The table of remembrance, which on the night He was betrayed, in the company of friends, he took bread and broke it saying, this is my body given for you, eat this in remembrance of me. He then took the cup of wine, and gave thanks saying this is my blood of the new covenant. Drink this in remembrance of me.

All: This is Christ's table

Reader: Remembering, therefore, this command of the Saviour, and all that came to pass, we pray:

All: We consume the broken body of Christ becoming the broken body of Christ present in a broken world.

Formational Learning

Rules of the Table

  1. It’s Christ’s table, and we are all guests, a good guest makes sure everyone present can stay at the table.

  2. This is a place to process together. Questions of curiosity and process are encouraged, not questions to force agreement or coerce a specific answer.

  3. Keep answers to 1-2 minutes so everyone has room to share.

  4. The facilitator will interject when the conversation moves too far away from our explicit topic. All questions are good but they are not all useful for this specific time.

Brave Space Ideals for the Conversation

  1. Controversy with civility

  2. Own your intentions and your impact

  3. Challenge by choice (allow ourselves to be challenged by what others share)

  4. Respect

  5. No Attacks

(Opening Question) 

What stood out to you from Dr. David Kessler’s talk? What is one point of curiosity or a question that emerged as we watched this video together?

(Head) What do I think?

In the stages of grief, What changes when we include meaning, instead of just acceptance, as we grieve and process loss?

What changes in our experience of grief when we see loss as a natural part of life, rather than a result of punishment from god or an event we could have prevented/control?

(Heart) What do I feel?

Dr. Kessler says, the meaning is not in the event. The meaning is in us. How do we stop trying to find meaning in the loss instead of creating meaning out of the loss?

(Hands) What do I do?

What are ways you can allow yourself to grieve fully and live fully at the same time?

Examen

The Examen is a daily practice of reflection and prayer that helps us introspectively look at ourselves. Spend a few moments at the end of your day prayerfully reflecting. Grab a pen and journal and write your response out.

  • For what moment today am I most grateful?

    For what moment today am I least grateful?

  • When did I feel most alive today?

    When did I feel life draining out of me today?

  • What was today’s high point?

    What was today’s low point?

Announcements 

  • Our Slow-Cooker Spirituality devotions will take us through the New Testament over the next year, requiring us to read for five minutes five days a week. We encourage you to walk through the Head, Heart, and Hands questions daily as you read.

    This week we will be reading:

    • Monday | Mark 11

    • Tuesday | Mark 12

    • Wednesday | Mark 13

    • Thursday | Mark 14

    • Friday | Mark 15

  • We have a Slow-Cooker Spirituality group that meets online at 9:30am PST every Thursday. We will read the chapter of the day and reflect together using the Head, Heart, Hands questions to write down what emerges for you. 

    • (Head) What do I think about what I read?

    • (Heart) What do I feel as I am reflecting?

    • (Hands) What do I do to respond?

  • Be sure to look out for the latest episode of our Continuing the Conversation Podcast, which we just relaunched. Find it on Apple Podcasts under FōS Church or on our website under the Podcasts tab. www.fos.church/podcast

  • One of the ways we invest in the future of FōS is through tithes and offering, generous giving. You can give online at www.fos.church/partner. Make sure to follow the instructions.

Our Benediction

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you: wherever they may send you;
may Christ guide you through the wilderness: protect you through the storm;
may Christ bring you home rejoicing: at the wonders they have shown you;
may Christ bring you home rejoicing: once again into our doors.*
Amen …

*Claiborne, Shane. Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals (p. 52). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.